HOMERUN HOLDEN

It's time for another Janet Reid's Flash fiction contest for SIGNAL by Patrick Lee!

Advance Reader Copies of SIGNAL by Patrick Lee! Need I say more? [NO!] 

One (or more??) lucky contest winner will receive an ARC of SIGNAL. These are FRESH off the press, no one else has it yet! 

And if you haven't read RUNNER (the first Sam Dryden novel, you could get that too, IF you win!!) Have I motivated you sufficiently? [YES!] 

Usual contest rules 

1. Write a story using 100 words or fewer. 

2. Use these words in the story: signal hour crane collapse homer 

3. You must use the whole word, but that whole word can be part of a larger word. The word must appear as that whole word however. Example: Signal/signals is ok but crane/cranberry is not. 

4. Post the entry in the comment column of THIS blog post. 

5. One entry per person. 

6. Titles count as part of the word count (you don't need a title) 

Contest opens: Saturday 2/7/15 at 10am.   Contest closes: Sunday 2/8/15 at 10am 

My entry:

My husband's Harvard nickname was Homerun Holden because he cheated like a Kennedy and drank with Irish enthusiasm. Homerun liked his women slutty. I was his first twinset-with-pearls. 

I married Holden confident I would change his ways, and I did. His drinking abated, his philandering ceased... momentarily. 

I should've left at the first whiff of her Shalimar. Olivia Crane signaled the collapse of my marriage. Liv, with her hourglass figure and Christian Louboutins. Liv of the law firm Crane, Poole and Schmidt. Holden's ultimate Madonna-whore. 

When my dignity was spent, I packed up my pearls and congenital hubris and left.





UPDATE: I didn't win -- again -- but I got a mention:

A great descriptive line:

"I was his first twinset-with-pearls."

Kitty 9:46am

.....

MADEMOISELLE JANET, SHE PEEKED!

Janet Reid is holding a 

Get Well Soon Writing Contest!

'One of the blog readers has been laid up for four weeks+ with a "temporary and not too serious" illness and just happened to mention that last week's contest "provided some great entertainment!"

That sounds like a darn good reason to have another contest this weekend.

Usual rules:

Write a story using 100 words or fewer.

The story should contain these words:

evil  virus  mono  blush  piper

The whole word must appear le in the story. It can be part of a larger word but not divided: monopoly but not Mon Oncle Henri. Proper names are fine, but you should be aware that using the prompts as proper names is viewed as slacking off by the beady-eyed malcontent who judges these little bouts of blood sport.'

Here's my entry:

Mon Oncle Henri feels sick.  He says it's zee evil virus, yes?  But non!  It's Macallan, mais oui!

Henri is so in love with Mademoiselle Janet, but Mademoiselle, she doesn't know.

One night she asked Henri to dinner.

He asked, "What do I bring?"

"Bring Macallan."

Henri thinks she must like bagpipers.  He told Macallan, "Mon ami, we are invited to Mademoiselle Janet's."

Mademoiselle sees Macallan in his kilt.  She is curious, non?  So she peeks.  "Oh mon dieu! Magnifique!"

Macallan blushed. "'Why yes, it is!"

Henri asked, "Ma cheri amour, what about moi?"

"Sorry, Henri, I'm strictly a monogamist."

And the winner is (not moi)...

....

Back story....

As soon as I read that the prompts "can be part of a larger word but not divided: monopoly but not Mon Oncle Henri," I knew that name would not only be in my story but they'd be the first words of my story. 

Next, I tried to think of "piper" uses and "piper" words, which is how I thought of bagpipers. From bagpipers I got Macallan, because Janet Reid loves Macallan Scotch. And after that, the lost-in-the-translation angle just kinda fell into place. While Mademoiselle Janet was expecting a bottle of Macallan Scotch, she got a bagpiper instead. I don't think she minded.

My husband and I encountered a similar moment in 1977. We were in Rochester, NY, for the weekend and checked out the Don Quixote Club. It was a Castilian restaurant which featured flamenco dancers. We sat at the bar. Everyone we heard spoke Spanish, including the bartender. I told him I wanted a glass of Sauternes--pronounced saw-turn--which is a French white wine. The bartender frowned and repeated my order. I told him, "Yup, that's what I want." I took a sip and gagged. It was Southern Comfort! When I told the bartender, he said, "Yes, that is Saw-turn. Saw-turn Comfort." That's what you get for ordering French wine in a Castilian restaurant.

WHAT DO YOU CALL A GROUP OF FEMALE FANS?

Janet Reid's latest Writing contest!

With a twist.

Write a story using 100 words or less. In the story you must use a word to describe a multitude of something. (It will help if you post the phrase at the end of the story as well, just in case I miss it. That last sentence will NOT be counted as part of the 100 words)   Example: A quarrel of stepchildren gathered to hear the reading of the not dead soon enough family patriarch. The word MUST be original: no "murder of crows" or "bevy of beauties" kind of thing. 

Here's my entry:

He threw back another shot and fired up a Lucky Strike as the 1947 Wurlitzer came to life with Sinatra's "I’ve Got A Crush On You."

Nick’s strained face eased. “Hey, doll, remember that song?"

She smiled. “It was playing when you introduced yourself.”

“You were standing in a flutter of fillies around that jukebox listening to it.”

She stood up. "I gotta go."

He grabbed her hand. "Come on, doll, let's give it another shot...okay?"

"It just didn't work out, Nick."

As she left, she dropped some nickels in the Wurlitzer so Frank could keep Nick company.

***

What do you call a group of female fans? A flutter.


And the winner is: Not I. Not even a mention.

...